


If a Tree Falls...

by mintyleaves



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Blowjobs, Dubious Consent, M/M, This might be considered rape but who knows, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, quantum physics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:57:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17504645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintyleaves/pseuds/mintyleaves
Summary: It’s so late in the night it’s practically morning.





	If a Tree Falls...

Loud music was blasting through the house, pouring into the front yard and practically causing the porch to shake. Wirt grabbed a wall for support. He wasn’t really a party guy. It was a Saturday night, well, Sunday morning now, and Wirt would’ve preferred to stay in. He much rather be home by himself, reading a book, drinking some tea, snacking on a couple cookies, listening to his podcasts.

Dipper insisted he come with. “It will be fun,” he promised.

For some strange reason, Wirt actually agreed to it. Dipper was already catching a ride with a guy from his english class so it wasn’t much of a hassle for him to just tag along with them. 

His friend didn’t mind taking Wirt, but he didn’t expect the extra person and so Wirt’s car ride was spent awkwardly cradling a petite brunette girl’s legs as she lied across the laps of the backseat passengers. 

He looked over to Dipper, who just shrugged and smiled.

That same guy was now stumbling out of the doorway of a dying party. His foot caught on the frame and he tumbled forward, almost falling if it weren’t for Wirt’s quick arms picking him back up.

Dipper looked at him, smiling cluelessly. “Thanks man.”

He was drunk. Not wasted, but drunk enough that his movements were sloppy and uncoordinated and his thoughts were cloudy and incoherent.

He blinked and looked around. “Where’s Trevor?” 

“He probably left,” Wirt muttered. “Along with everyone else.” It was 4 in the morning and most of the party was gone aside from a few stranglers who weren’t tired or hadn’t found someone to take home. 

Dipper kept looking around like maybe that would bring their ride back. He climbed onto the fence of the porch despite Wirt’s protesting. “Trevor buddy, where you at?”

Wirt cursed himself for letting Dipper get this drunk because in the end it’s him who has to be the responsible one.

Now he was stuck with getting Dipper home somehow.

Luckily, Wirt had swapped the beer for some nice black tea to keep him awake and focused, which was much needed when dealing with someone as headstrong as Dipper.

Dipper leaned forward, still searching for a guy that left a long time ago. Not enough tea could stop Dipper from loosing his balance and falling into the bush below him. Looking after Dipper was proving to be a lot harder than it ever was with Greg.

Wirt jumped down the steps and ran over to sprawled out bush boy that was Dipper. His body was twisted unnaturally but he still managed to smile stupidly up at Wirt, an amused twinkle in his eyes. 

“Ow.”

Wirt took a steadying breath, grounding himself before reaching to help Dipper get out. Dipper took his hand and untangled himself from the mess of branches. 

“So if Trevor left, we don’t have a ride home,” Dipper observed, finally catching up. 

“Yep.” Wirt picked a leaf out of Dipper’s hair. “I’m calling us a cab.”

Dipper crinkled his nose. “A cab?” He repeated. “No, dude my house is right through those trees.”

Wirt followed his gaze to a dark forest creeping into the backyard. Walking through the woods at 4am? Hard pass. Ignoring Dipper, Wirt pulled out his phone and dialed a cab. 

“We’re not wa-“ Wirt cut himself off when he realized Dipper was no longer standing next to him, but wandering towards the forest.

Wirt caught up to him, cutting him off and grabbing his shoulders. “Woah, hey. Walking into the woods? Not a good idea when it’s this late. It’s dark, dangerous, and we could get lost,” he warned. 

His words were lost on Dipper’s stubbornness. “Dude, chillax. It’s no biggie. My place is like. Literally through those trees. You know how sketchy cabs are?” He asked. “Especially at night.”

“You know how dangerous and stupid walking through the woods is?” Wirt countered. “I know you have the brain of a 7 year old right now but can you try and realize what a bad idea that is?” He asked. “I’m calling a cab and he’ll be here in a couple minutes and he’ll take us home.”

Dipper, who was just a few inches shorter, was looking up at Wirt with a pout. The messy hair and blushed nose made him look a lot like a fussy toddler in desperate need of a nap. 

“I don’t have any money,” he protested.

“I do,” Wirt answered, feeling rather proud of himself for being prepared.

Dipper’s eyes narrowed. Wirt just watched, imagining the gears in his tiny head turning extra hard to come up with a valid reason to go through the woods. He was quiet for a while and a satisfied smirk was forming on Wirt’s lips. He won. 

“Fine,” Dipper said. Wirt’s smirk shifted into a full-on smile. "But you gotta catch me first!” He darted past Wirt, running full speed towards the edge of the trees. 

You’d think he’s 7 and not 17. 

Wirt stood there for a minute and watched, trying to comprehend that he was really going to walk through the forest at 4 in the morning with no idea where he was going and would have to rely on Dipper, who was currently drunkenly running towards the trees, as his navigator. 

They weren’t going to make it out alive.

Wirt snapped, figuring it was best not to debate with him and instead save his energy for getting them through possibly the worst decision he’s ever dealt with. 

Thankfully, Dipper stopped running upon reaching the edge of the forest. He leaned against a tree and tried to catch his breath. 

“I winn,” he wheezed out.

Wirt looked at him, drunk and gasping for air. “Did you though?”

He coughed in response and Wirt worried he was going to throw up right there without even making it into the woods. He watched, weighing if extracting Dipper from his own vomit and pushing him into a cab was better or worse than taking the supposed shortcut. 

Dipper made one final hacking sound, spit on the grass, and stood back up. “We’re good,” he said, eyes sparkling in the dark. 

Dipper’s definition of good was concerning. He shook his hair for some reason, and cut into the trees. 

It begins.

Wirt fell into place behind him. It was easier to keep an eye on him this way and he was less likely to get lost. 

It was already dark outside, but everything seemed to get darker. The trees were blocking some of the moonlight, making getting home seem even more impossible. Wirt figured the sun would rise before they made it out. 

“See, isn’t this great?” Dipper asked, the alcohol making him far too chipper. He slowed down and slung his arm around Wirt’s neck. “Two pals, going for a walk. Getting some fresh air.” He took an exaggerated breath. “Nights like these are the reason Summer’s the best season.”

Wirt didn’t agree. While yes, it was a nice temperature outside, it was still pretty humid. He much preferred the fall, when all the leaves were changing and the Earth was in its most beautiful transition. He loved pumpkins and bonfires and tea and Halloween and sweaters. Summer was great, but it was hot, sweaty, and overrated.

“If you say so,” Wirt said.

“I’m right,” Dipper continued. “Summer... it’s for going to the beach and hanging with your friends. Going to the pool, exploring, late night parties.” He smiled and shuffled his feet. “It’s always an adventure,” he concluded. 

“It certainly is,” Wirt said.

“Well think about it. The days are longer so there’s more time to do stuff,” he added. 

“Mhmm,” Wirt said. “Do you know where we’re going?” He asked. He knew the answer was no but at this point he just wanted to change the subject. 

“Yeah dude. We’re like, almost there,” Dipper answered. 

Helpful. All the trees looked the same in the dark. Yeah right. It was going to be at least another 15 minutes. 

“So hey,” Dipper said, thankfully forgetting the whole season conversation. “If a tree falls in a forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

“Yes,” Wirt responded.

“Why?” Dipper asked almost immediately after.

Wirt thought about it, looking down at his feet to make sure he wasn’t tripping over any stumps or branches. “What about all the animals? The deers, squirrels, rabbits. They’d have to hear it,” he pointed out.

“Yeah well think about it,” Dipper said. “If there’s no one around, no one can confirm or deny that the tree even exists.”

“That sounds like Schrödinger’s cat,” Wirt commented.

“Who’s cat?” 

“Schrödinger.” Dipper stared at him blankly. “You know, the cat that’s sealed in a box and it’s dead but at the same time it’s alive because no one knows if or when the poison gets released.”

“Oh. I guess it’s kinda like that,” Dipper said. “Yeah,” he decided after a minute. “Yeah, so this tree doesn’t exist because no one has seen it to testify it’s existence. But at the same time, no one can claim it doesn’t exist either.”

In a matter of minutes, Dipper has gone from 17 to 7 to 67. 

“Okay but that’s dumb,” Wirt argued. “You can’t say something doesn’t exist just because you haven’t witnessed it. There are thousands of unexplored forests throughout the world. We don’t know what’s in them but we know they exist.”

“Yeah, which is why the tree does exist; because no one can prove it doesn’t,” he said. 

“Okay...” Wirt said. “Imagine I’m home alone and I start playing my clarinet. No one’s around to hear it, but it still makes a sound regardless.” 

“But you’re there to hear it,” Dipper countered. 

“What if I was deaf?” Wirt asked. “Beethoven was deaf.”

Dipper shrugged. “Got me there.” 

They walked on some more and Wirt was pretty proud of himself for winning their debate.

“So how exactly did you find this... short cut?” Wirt asked. 

Dipper was quiet. “I don’t remember,” he answered finally.

Great, so there was a chance this short cut wasn’t even legit and just another stupid idea made by drunk Dipper. 

The sun would rise soon enough.

A silence settled between the two of them as they continued their trek through the dark trees. The initial fear had mostly worn off, now replaced with a sense of boredom.

Wirt wanted more tea. Raspberry this time. 

Dipper laughed at something.

“What?”

“Nothing,” He answered. “Something that happened at the party,” he said, then added out of nowhere, “have you ever gotten a blowjob?” 

Wirt stopped walking. Dipper did too, looking at him with interest. He was glad the darkness covered up the blush no-doubt spreading to his cheeks. 

“Uh- um, I...” he stuttered.

“No?” Dipper guessed.

He gave up trying to talk and just shook his head. 

“So how far have you gone?” Dipper asked. Wirt couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was being. 

Not much further than a handsy make out or two but his brain somehow found that hard to convey. 

“You’ve at least kissed a girl, right?” Dipper asked.

He swallowed and nodded, a bit too eagerly like he just figured out how to function again. His mouth was dry.

“You ever kissed a guy?” Dipper asked.

“H-have you?” Wirt countered. 

“Yeah,” he answered. His face was dark. 

Dipper leaned forward. He pecked Wirt on the lips and pulled back, smiling stupidly. “Now you have too.”

Wirt just stared at him, like he was missing something. He didn’t know how to respond. Would it be weird to thank him? Would it be impolite to not? This situation didn’t exactly come with any guidelines. 

Then Dipper moved forward again, harder this time. And it wasn’t a peck, his head was tilted and his lips parted. His hand found Wirt’s jaw and he held it for a minute before sliding down to his neck. 

Wirt couldn’t catch up. There was so much happening and then Dipper’s tongue was in his mouth and he was moaning softly and... they needed to slow down. 

He pulled away, catching his breath but mostly putting together what just happened. 

Wirt tried to think of something to stay. He couldn’t think about anything except how Dipper’s lips felt and they were together again. 

There was liquor on his tongue. Wirt wasn’t a drinker, but he could taste coconut and... pineapple? It was strong, sweet, but with a kick. Intoxicating. 

Dipper kissed him harder and they stumbled backwards.

Wirt’s back hit the tree behind him and he gasped, tugging on Dipper’s hair. He pulled away, eyes twinkling in the moonlight. His smile was lopsided and lips wet with spit. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all night,” he admitted quietly. His voice was hoarse. 

“Really?” Wirt squeaked. His face was red without a doubt and he wasn’t even sure if Dipper heard him but then their lips met again and Dipper’s hand trailed up Wirt’s thigh, finding the outline of his cock and rubbing it softly. 

Wirt groaned, the pressure sending waves of heat through his body. And with it, reality came crashing back. 

He quickly shoved Dipper away. “Woah there,” he said. “You’re drunk.”

“A little,” Dipper said. His hands went back to feeling Wirt, holding his shoulder with one and palming Wirt’s cock with the other. He shivered at the touch. 

Dipper hesitantly brought his lips back to Wirt’s, his tongue and teeth coming with. 

“We can’t,” Wirt said. His voice was thick and not very convincing. His breathing was uneven as Dipper moved on to kissing Wirt’s neck. 

He whimpered at the feel of Dipper’s teeth on his sensitive skin. Wirt shut his eyes as tight as he could, trying to wake up from what had to be a dream. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing made sense except for the feel of Dipper’s mouth, hot and wet in the crook of his neck, biting and sucking. 

Wirt grabbed Dipper’s hips. His grip was tight. Warning.

Dipper nuzzled into Wirt’s collar. His lips formed a smile against his chest while his hands moved lower and lower. “Please,” Dipper said. “Let me do this for you.”

Wirt’s breath was stuck in his throat. God, he sounded so needy, so desperate. 

His hand was back on Wirt’s cock, lightly palming it through the denim. 

It was 4 in the morning, in the middle of a forest. 

No one else was around. No one to see Wirt pinned against the tree, hair messy as his hands pulled at Dipper’s shirt, desperate just to touch him. 

Wirt slowly started rocking into Dipper’s palm. He needed to feel more, needed Dipper’s hands, his lips. 

“You’re so hard,” Dipper said, cupping and rubbing his cock and driving Wirt absolutely crazy. “I’m gonna make you feel so good,” he promised. His breath tickled.

Wirt groaned, rolling his head back and hitting the tree behind him. His whole body was hot with need. “Dipper.”

No one was around to see Dipper, sinking down to his knees and lightly kissing Wirt’s cock through the fabric. 

He inhaled sharply as Dipper unzipped him, pushing his jeans aside and tugging his boxers down to get better access to his cock. 

Dipper smiled crookedly. “Fuck,” he decided, eyes flicking up to meet Wirt’s. He brought his attention back down to Wirt’s cock, taking his sweet time and wrapping his hands around the base. 

Wirt’s fingers dug into the bark of the tree, pulling a few pieces free. He was already a mess and Dipper had barely touched him. His lips closed around the tip, giving his slit an experimental lick.

It’s not like there was anyone around to hear them, but Wirt bit his lip anyways in attempt to stifle a helpless whimper. 

Dipper took more of him into his mouth and Wirt’s knees almost gave out. He buried his hands in Dipper’s hair, grabbing it rougher than he probably should be in attempts to steady himself. 

So this is what a blowjob felt like. 

Dipper relaxed his jaw, swallowing the last of Wirt’s cock and sucking. Wirt eased in to it, pushing his hips forward without restraint. 

He never really imagined what getting head would feel like. Sure, he wondered a couple of times when things were getting a little intense with Sara but it was more worrying than wondering. At some point he realized how easy it would be for her to choke and die and so their intimacy never went past kissing and their relationship never made it past 3 months. 

Dipper got himself into a rhythm, his hot tongue and wet mouth working their way on Wirt’s cock, driving him crazy. His head bobbed up and down, sucking the whole time, hands on Wirt’s hips to keep him pressed up against the tree stump. 

The sky brightened up ever so slightly, just enough for Wirt to make out Dipper’s lips stretched around his cock as he sucked him off. He pulled away, leaving a chain of spit from his swollen head. Dipper opened his eyes, looking up at Wirt. The moonlight gave them a charming twinkle that caused Wirt’s insides to melt. 

“You look so good,” he rasped. His tongue traced the underside of his cock. “Taste good too.”

Wirt groaned in response. He brought his hands to Dipper’s hair, trying to nudge his mouth back into place. 

He took Wirt’s suggestion, swallowing his cock again and working his mouth at the previous pace. Wirt’s hips rolled forward on their own account, lost in the moment and aching for more. 

Dipper seemed to get the hint. His movements sped up, sliding his tongue up and down his cock hungrily. 

Wirt was shaking. “God,” he whined. This couldn’t be Dipper’s first time sucking cock, he was too good at it. He knew exactly what he was doing, exactly how to drive Wirt crazy. He’d ask him, but not right now. His brain was scattered and only capable of single words and pathetic whimpers. 

Dipper’s hair was a mess, all caused by Wirt’s hands and how grabby they got trying to find something to grab onto and keep him still. He was close. So close. 

He pulled away, letting go of Wirt’s cock with an obscene pop. His hand worked the base, twisting and jerking him off to give his jaw a quick break.

Then he was back at it, taking his cock in like he couldn’t get enough of it, savoring every inch until his nose brushed against the base and his hair tickled Wirt’s stomach. 

“I’m gonna cum,” Wirt warned through staggering breaths.

Dipper slid his mouth off, licking up the precum and giving his tip a delicate kiss before meeting Wirt’s intense gaze. “Cum for me then,” he said. His voice was hoarse and challenging and it brought Wirt even closer to the edge he was about to fall off. 

His hands left their spot on Wirt’s hips, trailing down and resting on the inside of his thighs. He messaged the sensitive skin there, earning a few breathy moans from Wirt. His mouth met his cock and he sucked eagerly, meeting Wirt’s thrusts and picking up the pace. 

Wirt’s hands tightened in Dipper’s hair and he came, his whole body on fire. Dipper took it all, swallowing and giving Wirt a few half-hearted tugs when he was finished. 

Dipper pulled his hands out of his hair, having to do it for Wirt because his brain was still in a post-orgasm fog. He tucked his cock back in and stood up, straightening out Wirt’s shirt while he was at it. 

Wirt wasn’t sure what time it was. Everything around him sorta disappeared the moment Dipper’s mouth met Wirt’s cock and then it became all he could focus on. 

It had gotten considerably lighter outside and Wirt could see Dipper better, standing up and smiling stupidly. His cheeks were a bright red and his hair was sticking out in different directions. 

His tongue darted out to lick his lips, which were still wet and swollen from the excellent head. 

Dipper tilted Wirt’s jaw forward to meet him in a messy kiss. Wirt’s tongue mapped out his mouth, tasting traces of cum and sweat. There was a hint of liquor still there, but it was overpowered by the flavor of sex. It was weird, but somewhat arousing at the same time. 

Some birds shouted around them, filling the forest with something other than desperate gasps and needy pants. Dipper looked around and frowned. “What time is it?” He asked. His voice was so rough. Raw.

“Beats me,” Wirt answered, bringing him back in for another kiss. “Where’d you learn how to do that?” He asked breathlessly.

Dipper had to think about it. “Same way I figured out about the short cut.” He answered. He laughed. “I can’t remember. Not right now. I’m still thinking about how good you look when you cum.”

Wirt’s breath caught in his throat as Dipper caught his earlobe between his teeth. 

“We should get out of here,” Wirt suggested. His hands were on Dipper’s chest but he wasn’t exactly pushing him away.

“What’s wrong with where we are?” Dipper asked. He pushed his hips against Wirt, drawing attention to the hardness in his jeans. 

Yep, they definitely had to get out of there. 

“Do you not hear the screaming birds?” Wirt asked. “Or forget that I’ve been against a tree this whole time and I’m probably going to have cuts on the back of my arms because of it?” Dipper was ignoring him, kissing his neck. “We’re still in the middle of the woods. God knows what time it is.”

Dipper pulled away. He was back to being 7, pouting at Wirt and protesting their departure. “I just wanna stay here. Stay with you.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah me too,” Wirt said. It wasn’t true. The bark of the tree really was stabbing into him and he was feeling post-blowjob grungy. “But we need to get back.”

Dipper huffed out a fine and stepped away from the tree. He strolled along, fists shoved in his pockets with his gaze fixed on his shoes. “First blowjob, huh?” He asked after awhile, turning to Wirt and giving him a proud smile.

“Mhmm,” Wirt answered.

“God that’s so hot,” Dipper said. “Can’t believe I blew you in the woods. In the middle of the night.” He shook his head like it wasn’t real. He stopped. “Woah would you look at that?” 

Wirt followed his line of vision to a dark house dead ahead of them. He was right. The sun had beaten them, already touching the roof and coloring it a sharp gold.

Dipper shoved his shoulder. “What did I tell you? Short cut.”


End file.
